Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
