Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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