The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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