there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
