Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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