I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Holy sore nipples Batman
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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