dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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