Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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