It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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