I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
