a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
