so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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