Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
love makes seman taste better
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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