Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
