So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
