I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
