I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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