see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
