it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Still dying that you shit outside
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
