shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
