I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
