Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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