i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Best friends brother. Beat that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
