I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
