As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
