You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Life is so much better after having sex.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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