Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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