I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize