just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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