I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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