Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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