Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
