I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
