I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
