and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize