Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
