Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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