Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
