That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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