this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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