he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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