I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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