but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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