these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
