He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
