So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize