Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
