Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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