where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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