And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
