just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
