found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
