do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
