Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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