so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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