it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize